Disappearing ……..

How often do we disappear in the middle of a conversation?  Someone is talking but we are not listening.  It’s like an imaginary conversation because we are not in the room.  We are some place other than where our body is located.  You can be looking the person in the face thinking about the news; tee-time; what’s for dinner; the next appointment with my stylist, doctor or accountant.  And you are asking yourself, “When will this conversation end?”  You are looking around the room smiling at total strangers hoping that someone will rescue you from this boring conversation.

Our disappearing and have imaginary conversations do not work well with family, especially with children.  A child will continue to call to call your name until they have your undivided attention.  Other family members will become angry and stop talking until you acknowledge their presence and show some respect for the conversation.  We all do this!  We disappear when it is convenient for our sanity.  We will nod appropriately and make noises, and yet, we are not listening.  When someone finally calls us out with anger and resentments about our disrespectful behavior, we are shocked and defend our behavior and quite adamant about our actions while claiming to have a lot on our mind—“I’m sorry” is the immediate reply when caught in our disappearing act.  One of the most important gifts we can give anyone is the gift of our honest self.  All of us, no matter how young or old, need a web of family, friends, neighbors, community and social networks.  In our contemporary society, it is easy to lose sight of our role in this web.